


Severely Moonstruck

by ThornWild



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M, MWPP Era, Potions, Romance, Slash, Werewolf
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-04-10
Updated: 2013-08-04
Packaged: 2017-12-08 03:08:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/756291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThornWild/pseuds/ThornWild
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>To Sirius it was sometimes a joke, sometimes not. Mostly it seemed that it was, which was why Remus began to long for something else, someone sincere who would understand him and not deny him, and he found that person where he least expected it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> I recently rewatched some of the Harry Potter films, and suddenly felt like returning to this story. I haven't worked on it in over five years, so I'm starting over from the beginning. This probably won't be a priority, but I'll work on it when I can. Hope you like! <3

Remus Lupin stepped into his office and grimaced. Deep shadows were visible under his eyes, for though the Wolfsbane Potion made his transformations less painful and kept him from running amok, his body still took a heavy strain from it all. Even his eyes looked old. Who would believe that he was only thirty-three years old? 

What he really wanted to do was go to sleep, but he knew he had  a lot of work to do before going back to teaching on Monday. The news that Severus had decided to cover Werewolves in his absence was worrying enough on its own. He would have to try to figure out a way to return to Hinkypunks without it seeming forced. He sat down at his desk and rubbed his face. Perhaps he would rest his eyes for just a few minutes.

He was roused by a knock on the door. It felt like only a moment had passed, but judging by the dusk outside his window he must have been asleep for at least two hours.

‘Yes, come in,’ he said, shaking his head and blinking a few times, not wanting to appear as though he had been asleep.

Severus Snape opened the door silently and stepped inside. 

‘Hello, Remus,’ he said softly. ‘Back to normal, I see.’

‘Hello, Severus,’ Remus replied. He tried to remember what he had been doing before he fell asleep. Ah, yes. Hinkypunks. ‘Back to normal, yes. What can I do for you?’

There was a brief silence. Severus seemed to hesitate for a moment.

‘I just thought I should make sure there were no problems with the potion,’ he said at last. ‘Any side-effects to speak of?’

‘None at all, thank you, Severus. I’m dead tired, though.’

Remus thought, for just a second, that he saw the fain trace of a smile graze Severus’s features. ‘I thought you might be,’ he said. ‘I brought you a little pick-me-up. Thought you might need it to plan your lesson for Monday.’ He strode over to place a small bottle on the desk, but kept his eyes on Remus, studying his face. ‘You were sleeping,’ he stated.

‘I may have dosed off, yes,’ Remus admitted. There was another silence, more awkward this time. Severus turned to leave. ‘Why did you cover Werewolves while I was gone?’ asked Remus.

Severus turned around to face him again. ‘I would have thought that to be obvious.’

Remus was taken aback for a second. ‘Why would you do that to me, Severus? I can think of more sure ways to expose me to the students, if that was your goal. Do you hate me that much?’

Severus opened his mouth, closed it again, and turned his back on Remus once more. ‘Good night, Professor Lupin,’ he said, and left the room.

Remus closed his eyes and sighed as Severus shut the door behind him. Had it always been like this? He supposed it had been far worse at times. But all the same… Why did Severus keep confusing him this way? And why did Remus allow himself to be reeled in and toyed with, just as he always had?

Perhaps he wanted it that way. Perhaps it meant security, and that always seemed to be in short supply. Sirius was on the loose again, and Remus was back at Hogwarts, faced with the memories of his past with both him and Severus. He felt almost like a schoolboy again, as though things were back to the way they used to be, and yet… Severus’s eyes had lost their spark and Sirius was now a wanted criminal—a murderer.

Remus was afraid. What if he found himself faced with Sirius at some point? Would he be able to condemn him? He betrayed James and Lily, and murdered Peter. At least that was the story everyone knew, but the Sirius Remus had known could never have done such a thing. Had Remus been so deceived in him? Or had Sirius changed? He had hated the Dark Arts. He had hated Voldemort.

And what of Severus?

He was a saving angel for Remus now, brewing him the Wolfsbane Potion without fail, every month. Remus owed the fact that he could teach at all entirely to him. And yet, had Severus not tried to expose him?

Remus picked up the bottle with the potion Severus had made for him. He pulled the stopper and sniffed it. The fluid was orange and smelled sweet and tempting—an Invigoration Draught. He took a sip, instantly feeling his entire body grow warmer. With another sip his eyelids seemed to become less heavy. He emptied the bottle and suddenly felt as though he’d had a good night’s sleep. Severus knew medicine. Perhaps he ought to have been a Healer, rather than a Potions Master. Remus put the empty bottle in his desk drawer for safekeeping. 

He had better get to work. He knew the effects of the potion wouldn’t last more than an hour of two, but that at least was something. It helped.

Dumbledore had asked Severus to brew the Wolfsbane Potion, but he had brought Remus the Invigoration Draught of his own initiative. It was rare for Severus to show kindness to anyone, but Remus knew. He remembered what others did not.

That Severus Snape was a good man.


	2. Soothing Solution

‘He’s not a bad guy, you know,’ Remus said. ‘Not really. Just because you don’t like him—’

‘This is not dislike, Moony,’ Sirius interrupted him. ‘It’s hatred.’

Remus was sitting on the floor of the dormitory, leaning his back against the foot of Sirius’s bed, upon which the latter was sitting with a half-finished essay. Peter was on his bed reading, and James was in the shower. They were in their sixth year at Hogwarts, and it was May. 

‘He is a bit questionable, you know,’ said Peter matter-of-factly. ‘And I just know he’s a dark wizard. Just look at all the curses he knows! Even the other Slytherins don’t like him. He’s got to be _really_ bad.’

‘Did it ever occur to you that the reason why the other Slytherins don’t like him could be because he _isn’t_ like them?’ Remus retaliated.

‘But you _know_ ,’ Peter reasoned, ‘he’s been just as slimy and horrible since we first met him.’

‘I don’t think he’s a dark wizard,’ said Sirius.

‘Thank you, Padfoot,’ said Remus in genuine surprise.

‘I just think he’s a prat. He deserves whatever’s coming to him.’

Remus rolled his eyes. He grabbed a pillow that had fallen out of Sirius’s bed and threw it at him. Sirius laughed. He put his essay down and lay down on his stomach, reaching out to caress Remus’s shoulder with one hand, running the other through his brown hair.

‘Why do you care so much, anyway?’ Sirius murmured, bringing his mouth close to Remus’s ear. His breath tickled. ‘He’s not much more civil to you than he is to us, and if he is it’s only because _you_ never say anything.’

‘Because there’s nothing to say. I don’t think Snape is at all as bad as everyone else seems to believe—get _off_ , Sirius!’

Sirius had begun to nibble his earlobe lightly. ‘Why?’ he whispered teasingly.

‘Because I asked you to, that’s why! Be serious, for once!’ Remus pushed him off.

‘I _am_ ,’ said Sirius, face suddenly straight. ‘I just don’t give a rat’s arse about old Snivelly. I’m perfectly serious about you…’

Remus laughed. ‘Sure you are.’

Sirius grinned then. ‘Maybe not. Still, don’t be so stiff! Play along a bit.’

‘Not now, Padfoot,’ said Remus solemnly. ‘I’m breaking up with you. You may consider yourself officially dumped.’

‘You’re no fun,’ Sirius grumbled and crossed his arms, a surly look on his face. Remus shook his head and laughed. Then he stood up and headed over to his own bed.

‘Good night, guys,’ he said and pulled the curtains around the four-poster to get undressed.

‘Good night,’ said Peter absentmindedly, his nose back in his novel. Sirius just shrugged and rolled over.

Remus heard James return from his shower. He lay down under the covers, listening as his roommates each went to bed. Sirius and James bantered about something unimportant, and Remus smiled to himself as he slowly drifted off to sleep.

A small sound roused him. He opened his eyes sleepily, propped himself up on his elbows, and found that another person was sitting next to him on the bed looking at him. After a few blinks his eyes adjusted to the darkness, revealing the person to be Sirius, to Remus’s complete lack of surprise.

‘What are you up to, Padfoot?’ he yawned.

Sirius shrugged. ‘Couldn’t sleep. I was watching you.’

‘Whatever for?’

‘I like to watch you sleep,’ said Sirius, edging a bit closer. He stroked Remus’s cheek with his hand, and Remus shuddered.

‘Sirius,’ he whispered. ‘Please don’t be like this…’

‘Why not?’

‘Because it’s not right. You’re not being fair to me.’ Remus sat up fully. He removed Sirius’s hand from his face and made to let go of it, but Sirius grabbed hold of his hand in turn and kissed the fingertips, one by one.

‘Padfoot, no…’ But Remus’s willpower ended there, and he closed his eyes and sighed. ‘Why do you always do this to me?’

‘Because you’re my Moony,’ Sirius whispered and kissed his wrist. ‘You’re _mine_!’ His voice was fierce and his breath hot on Remus’s skin.

‘You’re an arse,’ Remus mumbled weakly. ‘I hate you.’

‘I love you,’ Sirius retaliated huskily, and pushed him down onto his back. Then he began to bite at his neck.

‘No, you don’t,’ Remus moaned. ‘That’s why you’re an arse…’ Sirius only chuckled, and unbuttoned Remus’s pyjama top, sliding his hand inside to brush his nipples. Remus whimpered. ‘Stop it,’ he gasped. ‘The others will hear…’

Sirius licked his earlobe gently. ‘They won’t. I put a charm on the curtains.’ He moved his hand down underneath the covers to the lining of Remus’s pyjama bottoms. He kept it there for a moment, looking into Remus’s eyes, before pushing on into Remus’s pants.

‘You really are an arse, Padfoot,’ Remus groaned. ‘I love you…’

* * *

Remus woke up late the next morning. Sirius was no longer in his bed. He sat up and rubbed his eyes. He could hear voices talking. The others were all awake.

‘Bugger,’ Remus muttered. ‘I’m meant to be a Prefect…’

Remus found his robes at the foot of the bed and started to put them on. Through the curtains, he could hear what the others were saying.

‘Did you finish the essay, Padfoot?’

’Nah, I’ll copy off Moony at lunch.’

‘Can I too?’

‘You’re not done either?’

‘I—no, I was reading…’

‘Neither of you’ve done it? Is it only Remus and I who bother?’

‘No, Prongs, only Remus actually _bother_. _You_ write essays in half an hour, spouting so much bollocks all the teachers just _believe_ you did it right.’

‘I don’t really see the difference…’

Remus smiled and pulled the curtains, getting out of bed. The others all turned to him. 

‘Well, good morning, sleepyhead,’ said Sirius, a sly grin spreading across his features. ‘Finally out of bed, are you?’

‘Why didn’t anyone wake me?’ Remus asked, stifling a yawn.

‘Well, _they_ wanted to,’ said Sirius, indicating the other two, ‘but I thought we should give you a bit of a lie-in. After all, it did get _very_ late, and you must be _very_ tired after… well.’

James shook his head, but smiled. ‘You two are truly twisted, you know that?’

Sirius grinned, turning his attention to James. ‘Oh, Prongs, you’re just jealous! It’s all in good fun, isn’t it, Moony?’

Remus looked away uncomfortably. It was all a joke to Sirius. He didn’t seem to understand that it meant more to Remus than it did to him, or how much it hurt.Now Sirius acted like nothing had happened and like it hadn’t been mentioned and was joking with the other two again.

‘I love you’ wasn’t enough. Not when it was followed by a laugh and a silly face. Remus could never be sure if he really meant it or not. Sirius would seem so earnest one moment, and the next he would dismiss it all as a joke, as though their relationship was simply entertainment.

It had been going on for nearly two years. How it had started Remus couldn’t be certain. A few quick glances, harmless, flirtatious joking of the kind that sometimes goes on between friends. It had been bad enough back then, but Remus had been able to take comfort in the knowledge that nothing would come of it anyway, so he shouldn’t tale it so seriously. Then a few awkward encounters alone in a room, a lock forgotten on a bathroom door…

Someone said something funny and the others all laughed. Remus couldn’t. He turned away to find his books for the morning lessons. Then he sighed and looked out the window. Only two days left until the full moon.

* * *

Remus, Sirius and James headed off to Potions after breakfast. Peter was horrible at Potions, and hadn’t made it to NEWT level, so he left them in the Entrance Hall and made his way to History of Magic. 

‘Can you believe he actually _likes_ that subject?’ said Sirius as the three of them started down the stairs into the dungeons. ‘I mean, being interested in history is one thing, but listening to that old geezer Binns droning on and on about goblin wars? How old can he be, d’you think? I’ll bet he’ll die soon.’

‘Well, I suppose he just likes it,’ Remus shrugged. ‘Not the goblin wars bits, perhaps, but the subject itself is interesting enough. It’s just Binns who makes it boring.’

‘And our Wormtail is actually good at it!’ James commented. ‘He earned an E in his OWL. Hey, do you suppose he’s the only one taking that class?’

‘Don’t be mean, James!’ Remus berated him. ‘I’m sure Peter isn’t the only one who’s interested in History of Magic.’

They reached the Potions dungeon and found themselves a table. They were relatively early, in spite of the late start. There were only a few other pupils in the classroom. One of them was Severus Snape, who sat alone at a table in the front, all his equipment already set up before him. He was hunched over his copy of _Advanced Potion-Making_ , quill in hand.

‘Look at Snivellus,’ Sirius whispered indiscreetly, nudging James. ‘What do you suppose he’s doing? Editing his book? Arrogant sod!’

‘I reckon he thinks he can make it better,’ James sneered. ‘Just because Slughorn thinks he’s talented and has made him part of that club of his he thinks he’s a bloody genius at the subject…’

‘Evans is in that club too, you know,’ Sirius commented airily, inclining his head towards the door through which Lily Evans was just entering with a Ravenclaw girl by the name of Emily Roslyn. 

‘Shut up, Padfoot,’ James said softly, a half-smile on his face. 

‘Evans told me Snape never goes to the meetings or the parties,’ said Remus. ‘Apparently he doesn’t like them.’

Sirius dismissed his comment with an indifferent hand gesture.

Soon after, Professor Slughorn entered the dungeon. ‘Good morning, everyone,’ he said, placing a heavy stack of books on his desk. ‘Today we will be making a Soothing Solution. Can anyone tell me what this potion is used for? Miss Evans?’

‘It’s used to treat trauma,’ said Lily. ‘Its main effect is to dampen painful memories so the patient’s subconscious can deal with them without causing further distress to the patient.’

‘Correct, Miss Evans! Take five points. Now,’ said Slughorn, turning to the rest of the class, ‘This is a tricky potion to brew alone, so I would like you to team up two and two and do it together. Instructions are on page three-hundred-and-forty, and you know where to find your ingredients. Ready, set, go!’

James tousled his hair with his hand and shouted across the classroom, ‘Evans! Team up with me?’

Lily looked up at him, raised an eyebrow and then laughed humourlessly. ‘You can’t be serious! Come on, Emmy, let’s go get the ingredients,’ she said, turning to her friend.

Sirius gave James a pointed but amused look.

‘It was worth a try,’ said James, shrugging. ‘You and me, then, Padfoot!’

Remus shook his head and laughed a bit. All was right with the world, it seemed. 

‘Lupin,’ came a voice from behind him, and he turned around. ‘It appears we are the only two left without partners,’ said Snape, plucking a stray strand of greasy hair away from his eyes.

Remus looked around. ‘Yes, so it seems,’ he replied, a bit uncertainly. 

‘Well, he’s not teaming up with _you_!’ Sirius cut in with a growl. ‘Moony, you can’t partner with _Snivellus_!’ Remus could hear him put as much venom as possible into the name. 

‘Fine then,’ said Snape and turned around. ‘It was just a suggestion. I’m perfectly capable of brewing this potion on my own.’

‘I need a partner, Sirius!’ said Remus, a little angrily. ‘What did you have to go and insult him for? Hey, Snape! I’ll team up with you!’

Snape halted for a moment. ‘Good,’ he said, turning his head slightly. ‘Bring your things over to my table. I’ll fetch the ingredients.’

Remus, ignoring Sirius’s glare, did as he was told and gathered up his things to bring them over to Snape’s table.

They worked in silence for most of the lesson, the only words spoken being, ‘Can you pass that, please?’ and ‘Chop these, would you?’ Snape uttered most of them. It was clear from the efficiency with which he worked that Slughorn’s praise was duly deserved. 

Remus severed the flowers of the St. John’s Wort from the stem with his knife and made to squeeze the juice from them when Snape grabbed his wrist.

‘Don’t do that,’ he said. ‘We should add the whole flowers. The effect is greater that way.’

‘How do you know?’ asked Remus.

‘I made this at home last summer,’ Snape replied. ‘Do you know of the properties of St. John’s Wort?’

‘Er—’ Remus began hesitantly.

‘I thought not,’ Snape continued. ‘St. John’s Wort is a powerful anti-depressant. Adding the whole flowers not only makes the potion better, but actually helps the patient function in day-to-day life. It partially counters the effect of the Belladonna, which is a sedative.’ He took the flowers from the table and dropped them into the cauldron, stirring carefully counter-clockwise a few times. ‘Depression often follows trauma,’ he added, as the potion turned deep crimson. Remus looked at the description in the book. It was the right colour. He shrugged and returned to his ingredients. 

As the last ingredients were added, Snape took a flask of something from his bag and made to pour some of its content into the cauldron. 

‘Hang on, now what are you adding?’ asked Remus, putting a hand over the cauldron.

‘Glumbumble fluid,’ Snape replied simply.

‘But that’s not even in the ingredients!’ Remus said frantically. 

‘Of course it isn’t. Glumbumble fluid causes melancholy,’ said Snape. Remus opened his mouth to protest, but Snape cut him off. ‘However, I find that a small drop of it balances out the effect of adding the whole flowers of the St. John’s Wort.’ He looked up at Remus. ‘Who’s better as this subject, you or me? Anyway, if I’m wrong you can tell Slughorn what I did. He’ll be fair.’

Before Remus could protest further, Snape had added a drop of the Glumbumble fluid. The potion fizzed for a moment, before turning clear, pale blue, and after Snape had stirred it a few times he declared it finished.

Slughorn inspected their potion thoroughly and then smiled. ‘Excellent work, boys!’ he said. ‘This potion is absolutely perfect. Ten points to Gryffindor and Slytherin respectively. Leave a sample on my desk and vanish the rest, and then you’ll be free to go.’

Snape instructed Remus to put away the ingredients while he took a sample. Remus shrugged and gathered the leftover ingredients. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Snape take first one sample, which he discreetly pocketed, and then another, which he labeled and placed on the table in plain sight. As Remus went off to the store cupboard, Snape muttered, ‘ _Evanesco_ ,’ and the remaining content vanished from the cauldron.

When Remus returned, he gathered his things and he and Snape exited the classroom together. Remus could sense Sirius glaring daggers at his back but resolutely ignored him.

‘So, how _did_ you know about the ingredients?’ asked Remus conversationally as he and Snape left the room.

‘Like I said, I’ve done it before,’ Snape replied. ‘I’ve performed tests and made improvements based on my knowledge of the ingredients. The good thing about potions is that if they look and smell like they’re supposed to, they work like they’re supposed to as well.’

Remus decided not to inquire any further into why he had made it or on whom he had tested it. Nor did he mention the flask he had seen Snape take for himself. Instead he smiled. ‘I knew you were good at potions but, Merlin, you’re a right bloody genius, aren’t you?’

Snape shrugged. ‘I don’t know about genius. It’s a hobby, I suppose.’

Remus cocked an eyebrow at him. ‘A hobby?’ he repeated. ‘You _are_ odd, Snape.’

Snape frowned. ‘No odder than you, I’m sure. How come you miss so many classes all the time?’ He glanced sideways at Remus, who looked away.

‘I have poor health. I get ill easily,’ he replied. ‘I’m just like that.’

They walked in silence for a bit longer, until they reached a fork in the corridor. ‘Well, I’m going to my common room,’ said Snape.

Remus nodded. ‘I suppose I’ll see you later.’

Snape didn’t answer, but simply headed off down the dungeon corridor in silence. Remus turned towards the stairs.

There was something oddly fascinating about Severus Snape. Something in the way he didn’t seem to care about anything. But his black eyes had a spark to them that most didn’t notice, perhaps because he rarely if ever looked people in the eye. And it was rare for him to seek contact with anyone, even if it was required for school. Like he had said himself, Snape didn’t really need a partner in order to brew the Soothing Solution. So why had he approached Remus?

Had he figured out Remus’s secret? Was that where this sudden interest was coming from? Remus shook his head as he emerged into the Entrance Hall and was greeted by daylight once more. Sirius was probably right. The only reason why Snape didn’t seem to have much against him was because he tried not to take sides in his ongoing feud with James and Sirius. So desperate was Remus to be liked by everyone. 

Then again, it seemed to be working. Remus decided not to dwell on it, and went to the library to work on an essay. Even after all the misfortune that had befallen him in his short life, he remained ever the optimist, and he couldn’t imagine that it wouldn’t all turn out in the end.


	3. Invigoration Draught

_The wolf delighted in its strength and yet was angry at its confinement. If only it could get out! Smell the night air, howl at the moon, hunt for prey! But it was trapped, and there was no prey._

_Wait!—There was something. A scent, drifting in from under the floorboards. It was human. A human scent, warm and strong, and it was right beneath the wolf’s feet. Prey!_

_It began to scratch at the floor with its razor sharp claws, attempting to dig a hole so it could reach that warm human scent, so lush with blood and sweat and adrenaline. The wolf’s fangs glinted in the moonlight streaming in between the planks of a boarded up window. The floorboards creaked and cracked._

_An opening! Escape! Now it would find its prey, tear it apart, limb from limb, consume it! Soon—_

* * *

‘What the _hell_ happened?’ Remus hissed angrily at Sirius. ‘Would you mind telling me why I just spent the better part of half an hour trying to convince Dumbledore not to expel you?’

‘Is he going to expel me?’ Sirius looked worried, and rightly so, thought Remus.

‘You know, I almost wish he would! How could you be so reckless?’ Remus paced up and down the dormitory. ‘And no, he’s not expelling you. You just lost Gryffindor a hundred points, though. I swear, if it hadn’t been for James… Do you understand what would have happened if he hadn’t intervened? Snape could have been killed!’

‘What a loss…’ Sirius muttered under his breath, looking away.

Remus stopped his pacing and glared at him. ‘Padfoot, I don’t care what you think of him, he does not deserve to die!’ he said sharply. ‘You don’t even know him, you’ve never taken the time to! Do you really want the death of an innocent person weighing on your conscience? On mine? If Prongs hadn’t stopped him, I might have killed him. If you don’t care about Snape, at least pretend you give two fucks about me! Why do you think I go down there every month, to have a laugh? I go there so that _I won’t hurt anyone_!’

Sirius bit his lip. ‘I didn’t think of that,’ he mumbled.

‘Of course you didn’t think, you _never think_!’ Remus retorted.

There were a few moments of silence. Remus ran his left hand through his hair. The right one was bandaged. Somehow he had managed to get a deep cut in it, which was not yet quite healed. He had deep shadows under his eyes, and had never felt so tired before in his life. Having returned from the Shrieking Shack that morning, exhausted and bitter,he had immediately been sent to Dumbledore’s office, where he had first been interrogated about whether he had had anything to do with the incident, followed y a threat to have his Prefect’s badge removed unless he could keep his friends in check. He imagined that becoming Head Boy was nothing but a pipe dream now. 

He felt like he hadn’t slept in weeks, but there was no time to sleep now. If he wanted to stay on top of his schoolwork he had better get cracking.

‘I don’t suppose you took any notes for me?’ he asked Sirius without looking at him. The latter cringed.

‘Only in Defence,’ he mumbled. ‘I’m sorry, I forgot. You know I don’t usually take notes…’

‘What did we do in Potions?’ Remus yawned, rubbing his eyes. 

‘An Elixir to Induce Euphoria,’ Sirius replied with a hopeful half-smile. ‘It was fun, really. I took some. Got totally high! Like being drunk, minus the violent streak and the headaches after.’

Remus ignored the last part and sent another glare his way. Then he sighed. ‘Euphoria…’ he muttered. ‘That’s fairly complex. Hope it won’t be on the exam…’

‘It wasn’t that bad, I managed to brew it just fine. Both Evans and Snape got extra points for it, of course. They were both _excellent_ , as _usual_.’ He sounded positively revolted at the very concept. 

‘Yeah,’ said Remus absently, too tired and angry to really care. ‘I need to go catch up on my studies. I’ll need those Defence notes from you later.’

He gathered up some schoolbooks and left the dormitory without giving Sirius another glance. How could he? How could Sirius use him to try and hurt someone else? A part of Remus just wanted to cry.

He headed off to the library. It was a rainy day, so quite a few people were studying. The library was full, aside from one seat at a small table where Severus Snape sat hunched over his Potions book. There was a stack of ancient, leather-bound tomes next to it and the top one was open.

Reluctantly, Remus went over to him.

‘Can I sit here?’ he asked. Snape immediately closed his book before looking up.

‘Oh, it’s you,’ he said, his voice flat. ‘I suppose. All better, I see?’ He looked Remus up and down with some suspicion. 

‘Yeah,’ said Remus uncomfortably. He sat down in the empty seat. ‘So, what were you working on?’ He glanced at the open library book. It displayed a page about various herbs and their properties in potions.

‘None of your business,’ Snape replied coldly and looked away. Remus’s discomfort grew. So Snape suspected he had something to do with the prank. He felt a flush creep up his cheeks, and suddenly had an urge to return to the dormitory and wring Sirius’s neck.

Instead he just said, ‘All right.’ His voice was a little weak. He was so tired.

Snape glanced at him and sighed. ‘I’m trying to find a way to improve the Elixir to Induce Euphoria,’ he explained at last. ‘I’m trying to actually make it _useful_. You know, less obvious. Here, look.’ He opened _Advanced Potion-Making_ again and showed him a page. ‘I figure if I add some peppermint it might make it more subtle. Counter some of the less fortunate side-effects.’

Remus leaned over to see more properly and caught a whiff of a familiar scent. He had no idea where he’d smelled it before, but it overpowered his senses. He drew a sharp, deep breath and closed his eyes, pulling away from Snape, and shuddered for a moment, grabbing hold of the table to steady himself. He could hear his blood rushing to his head.

‘What’s wrong?’ asked Snape, grabbing hold of Remus’s shoulder to prevent him from falling out of his chair. His voice sounded very far away. Startled, Remus shook off the hand and opened his eyes, reality rushing back in awfully quickly. His eyes met Snape’s and he shuddered again.

‘I… It’s nothing, I’m okay now,’ he lied, looking away. ‘Just a little dizzy. Still not quite well, I think.’

He had the distinct impression that Snape didn’t buy it, but the other let it lie. ‘You look tired.’ Snape reached into his bag and pulled out a small vial filled with orange liquid. ‘Here,’ he said, handing it to Remus. ‘It’s Invigoration Draught. I brewed a batch last week, it really helps with the studying.’

Remus glanced at the vial suspiciously before taking it. Pulling the stopper revealed a sweet and comforting smell. Remus took a small sip.

He felt his head begin to clear at once. ‘Thanks,’ he said, and made to return the vial, but Snape shook his head.

‘Drink it all. I’ve got more,’ he said.

Remus did, and when the vial was empty, he felt like a new person. Awake and alert and ready for whatever the world tried to throw at him. Snape took the empty vial and replaced it into his bag. 

‘So, what was it this time?’ asked Snape, picking up his quill.

‘Sorry?’ 

‘Your illness,’ Snape clarified. ‘What was it? Common cold? Pneumonia? Dragon Pox?’ He glanced at Remus. ‘Or perhaps just a bit of _Lunacy_?’

Remus blinked and looked at Snape. He knew. It was obvious that he knew. ‘No,’ he said slowly. ‘Nothing serious, I was just a bit off-colour. Burnt out, if you will…’

‘What about your hand?’ 

‘Got scratched,’ Remus replied. ‘By a cat that snuck up into our dormitory while I was ill.’

Snape clearly didn’t buy this either. There was a chill in his voice when he said, ‘I suppose you heard that your _friends_ tried to pull a prank on me, then?’

This time Remus gave a snort, in spite of himself. ‘You could say that.’

‘Do you think it’s funny?’ Snape snapped. ‘Do you have any idea what—’

No, it’s not funny,’ said Remus hurriedly. ‘It’s not funny at all! I’m sorry, it’s just that they’re always getting into trouble, and they drag me into it too and… I suppose the only way to deal with it is to laugh at it.’ He looked away, attempting to mask his guilt. He hadn’t been himself, that was true, but he had almost bitten Snape. He could have killed him or, which was almost worse, made him like himself.

There was a short silence during which Snape seemed to compose himself again before he spoke next. ‘Do you know what’s down that tunnel?’ he enquired conversationally.

Remus shrugged. ‘No, never been there.’

‘Don’t lie, will you?’

‘I’m not!’ Remus lied again, feeling rotten. Then, to change the subject, ‘What’s that you’re working on?’ He pointed to Snape’s notes.

Snape glared at him before rolling his eyes. ‘Draught of Peace. We brewed it last year, remember, for OWLs? You must have done decently enough or you wouldn’t be in the NEWT class… Anyway, I’m experimenting with the amount of hellebore in it. I believe that if one ups the dosage of hellebore and adds lovage to the mix, one might end up with a potion that renders the drinker temporarily insane instead. Of course, it’s just a theory, and I can’t test it on anyone.’

Remus laughed then.

‘What?’ said Snape a little sourly.

‘When you talk about Potions, it’s like you’re a completely different person,’ Remus remarked, smile still in place. ‘You sort of light up and actually seem like you care, for a change. You’re usually just… well, sort of blank, really. No visible emotions. But when you’re absorbed in something like this… Well, you’re different.’

Snape looked at him for a moment, and then looked back at his book again, and if Remus hadn’t known better he would have sworn he saw his cheeks turn slightly pink. ‘It’s a hobby,’ said Snape again.

Remus shook his head. ‘More like an obsession,’ he corrected. Then he took out his Transfiguration book, some parchment and a quill. ‘Can I borrow some ink, Severus?’

* * *

The next couple of weeks went far too quickly for Remus’s liking. The teachers loaded the pupils down with work, trying to squeeze in as much as possible before the summer holidays, and several of them had scheduled practice exams for the sixth years. Remus’s time away had not helped in the least, of course, and even with all the free periods he felt as though he couldn’t possibly finish all his homework. 

Remus chewed the end of his quill thoughtfully before underlining a passage in his Defence Against the Dark Arts book. It was almost eleven o’clock in the evening, and the common room was deserted apart from himself and Sirius. James was helping Peter with his charms homework up in their dormitory. 

‘How are you studying so much?’ Sirius asked. He was sprawled out on a sofa, his schoolbooks forgotten on the floor. 

‘Practice NEWTs start in two days,’ Remus uttered without looking at him. ‘How can you not be?’

‘It’s too late for it to really make a difference now, anyway. Better to just relax and not stress out about it,’ said Sirius. He got off the sofa and approached Remus’s chair. ‘Besides, Defence? It’s your best subject, Moony. How about you just take a break? You can finish this later…’ He began to rub Remus’s shoulders. Remus was still angry with Sirius, but he allowed himself to relax for a little bit, lifting his quill from the page.

Then Sirius brought his face close to Remus’s ear and his tongue flicked out to caress his earlobe. This gesture brought Remus back to reality. He was always so powerless around Sirius… He flinched away.

‘Get off me, Padfoot!’ he hissed. It came out far more savagely than he’d meant it. ‘After what you did, do you really think I want your tongue all over me? Besides, what if someone saw us?’

‘There’s no one here,’ Sirius shrugged, ignoring the first part, ‘but if you’re really worried we could just go to the dormitory instead.’ He smirked. Remus glared at him and shook his head.

‘You are certifiably mental,’ he muttered. ‘I have to study.’

‘Fine!’ Sirius released Remus’s shoulders and returned to the sofa. His voice sounded more angry than usual. Remus ignored him and returned to the book. A few moments later, however, he was once again interrupted. 

‘You spend a lot of time with _Snivellus_ lately,’ Sirius spat. ‘Since when are you two so close?’

‘We just study together,’ Remus replied. ‘Since I can’t count on any of you guys. He helps me with Potions.’

‘Bet that’s not the only thing he does,’ Sirius mumbled under his breath. Remus ignored him. ‘So, are you getting all friendly with Mulciber and Avery and the rest of Snivellus’s Death Eater friends as well?’

Remus shut his book with a snap. ‘Now, that’s not fair, Sirius!’ he said, his voice gaining a hint of anger again. ‘First of all, none of them are Death Eaters, not yet at least. Secondly, I would never consider going near any of those other guys and thirdly, _Severus_ doesn’t really hang around with them anymore either!’

‘ _Severus_ , is it?’ Sirius growled.

Remus rolled his eyes. ‘Anyway, for your information, we’re not doing any of the things you and I have been doing, so you can stop being such a jealous prat.’ He took a deep breath. ‘It’s not like you have any actual claim on me, anyway,’ he added. ‘You’re just playing games with me, right? Just like you did when you tried to have me kill Severus! So you might as well leave me alone.’

Sirius looked about to retort when the door to the boys’ dormitories opened and James appeared at the top of the stairs. 

‘There you are.’ James’s voice sounded tired and a bit empty. He made his way down the stairs towards them. He clutched a letter in his right hand. ‘My dad has fallen ill,’ he informed them and plopped down on the sofa next to Sirius.

The other two just stared for a moment. In the end, Remus asked, ‘Is it serious?’

‘We don’t know yet.’ No trace of sarcasm or good humour coloured the starkly simply phrase. James turned to Sirius. ‘Mum wanted me to make sure you know you’re still welcome this summer. Just, you know…’

‘A quiet summer in the country sounds like heaven.’ Sirius smiled with uncharacteristic nervousness. ‘Damn, I hope he’ll be all right…’

‘So do I,’ said James, looking away.

Remus suddenly felt like he was intruding. He had met Mr. and Mrs. Potter in Diagon Alley and at Platform Nine and Three-Quarters on several occasions, but he had never been to the Potters’ home, so he didn’t really know James’s parents all that well. Sirius, however, had spent the previous summer and Christmas there, after he ran away from home, and the Potters were his family now, perhaps more so than his own family had ever been.

Remus stood and gathered up his books, before proceeding upstairs to the dormitory. Peter was sitting on his bed, leaning on one of the posts, his knees pulled up under his chin. Remus sat down on his own bed and kicked off his shoes. 

‘I hope James’s dad will be all right,’ came Peter’s voice after a moment. Remus looked up at him. Peter smiled a sad smile.

‘Yeah,’ replied Remus. ‘Me too, Pete.’

* * *

The practice exams were painless enough, apart from being very tiresome, and Remus felt pleased about his own performance. They ran over the course of about two weeks. In between exams, he studied with Severus in the library. It turned out that he wouldn’t have had to study especially hard for Defence Against the Dark Arts, however, as the practical fell right on the full moon. It was the last exam they had.

A couple of days after recovering, Remus was on his way to the Gryffindor common room when someone said his name. Severus stood in the open doorway to an empty classroom. His expression was unreadable as ever, but something in his black eyes made Remus uneasy.

‘In here,’ said Severus softly, and Remus followed, a slight frown on his face.

Once inside, Severus closed the door behind them. Remus sat down on a desk, looking up at him expectantly.

‘Why did you miss the Defence practical?’ Severus asked bluntly.

Remus was at first taken aback by the question. Severus hadn’t mentioned his monthly disappearances since that day in the library. Remus had foolishly thought that Severus had forgotten all about it. Remus swallowed. ‘What do you mean?’ he asked slowly.

‘You know what I mean!’ Severus snapped, and Remus recoiled. ‘Where were you?’

‘I was ill again—’

Severus grabbed him by the collar, hauling him to his feet before shoving him up against the wall. ‘Do you think I’m stupid?’ he shouted. ‘Stop lying to me!’

Remus looked away, too ashamed to meet his eyes. And then came that same scent that made his knees buckle. A strange urge came over him to grab Severus by the shoulders and sink his teeth into his exposed, white neck. He barely controlled the impulse.

‘Please, don’t be so close,’ he gasped. ‘Please…’

Severus let go and took a couple of steps back, straightening his robes. Remus slid to the floor, trying to take a few deep breaths, but they came ragged and shallow. After a while he managed to finally breathe normally.

‘Are you all right?’ asked Severus sharply. Remus nodded. ‘Good, because I’m not letting this go. I know what you are.’

‘Severus, please don’t do this.’

The other ignored him. ‘I was foolish. I thought maybe I had been wrong. I thought… No, I hoped that, just maybe, you weren’t lying to me, and that the next full moon would disprove my theories. But I know when people are lying, and once again you were gone at the full moon.

‘Dumbledore told me not to tell anyone what I saw. He made me promise, which was why I didn’t directly confront you with it. I couldn’t be sure, but now I know. That thing at the end of the tunnel, the one that almost attacked me, that was you! You were the one who almost killed me!’

Remus closed his eyes and felt a tear slide down his cheek. ‘I’m sorry,’ he whispered. He took a deep breath and dared to glance up at Severus’s face. The other boy’s black eyes were full of fury and disappointment, and his gaze made Remus feel at once afraid and wretched.

Then Severus blinked and sighed, looking away. ‘You lied to me about something so important…’ He turned around and left the room, robes billowing behind him.


	4. Veritaserum

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, that took forever... Sorry, whomever has been reading. Hope it was worth the wait.

Whereas the last few weeks before summer had gone by far too quickly, the summer holidays passed with excruciating slowness. Remus spent most of his time at home. He didn’t see any of the other Marauders that summer, though he did correspond with all three by owl. He was happy to hear that James’s father was doing much better and did not need to spend time in St. Mungo’s. 

Although his relationship with Sirius had been cool before the summer, the latter appeared in his letters to have ‘forgiven’ him—no harm, no foul—and Remus found that the anger he had felt regarding Sirius’s little prank had mostly ebbed away. His friend even cracked a few highly inappropriate jokes in his letters (‘I wish you were here so I’d have someone to do at night’, ‘I’m so frustrated I could fuck a porcupine, but you would be highly preferable’), making Remus blush so much that his mother had to ask if he was running a fever.

One day, when he had nothing to do, Remus even chanced a letter to Severus, asking how his holiday was. Apparently Severus wasn’t much of a pen-pal, however, because his reply was short:

 

_Remus,_

_I am fine, thank you. I am playing around with some potions and keeping mostly to myself. My parents aren’t bothering me much right now._

_Lily Evans lives close by and I ran into her the other day. She told me she’s been made Head Girl. Nice for you Gryffindors._

 

_Hoping you are well,_

_Severus_

 

All the same, given the nature of their last meeting before the holidays, it could have been far worse. At least he didn’t seem angry.

Needless to say, Remus was overjoyed when his slow summer finally ended and he could return to Hogwarts at last.

Platform Nine and Three-Quarters was chock-full of people. It was impossible for Remus to catch hold of anyone he knew as he stood there with his father, trunk at his side. His mother had been too tired for the hustle and bustle of King’s Cross that day and had thus stayed home.

‘So,’ said his father, ‘are you ready for your final year?’

Remus shrugged. ‘As ready as I can be, I suppose.’

‘Moony!’ came a shout from behind him and Remus turned around. James and Sirius came trotting towards them, wearing matching grins.

Sirius threw an arm around Remus’s shoulder and gave him a sort of half-hug, which somehow felt infinitely comforting. Remus had been very worried about meeting him again, despite the friendly tone of their letters.

‘Hi, guys,’ he said. Then he noticed a very shiny badge on James’s chest. ‘Is that . . . ?’ he questioned, pointing at it.

‘Erm, yeah . . .’ James looked embarrassed. ‘Could hardly believe it myself . . .’

‘I swear, it was bad enough when you were made Prefect, Moony. It shames me to be best friends with the ruddy Head Boy!’ Sirius grinned.

Remus smiled, but he knew it didn’t quite reach his eyes. Somehow he felt cheated. How had James become Head Boy? Surely it should have been someone else? James wasn’t even a Prefect. There must have been some mistake . . . But the badge was genuine and James’s tone did not make it sound like a joke.

‘Where’s Peter?’ asked Remus, changing the subject.

‘He probably overslept,’ Sirius joked. ‘Oh, no, there he is. His mum’s fussing over him as usual.’ He turned to James. ‘Not too long until the rain leaves. We should find your mother and say bye.’

The two boys disappeared into the crowd again. Remus and his father were not alone for long, though, because soon a tall, scrawny youth approached them.

‘Hello, Remus,’ said Severus quietly. ‘How was your summer?’

‘Oh, not bad,’ said Remus. ‘Dad, this is Severus Snape. Severus, this is my father.’

‘How do you do?’ Mr. Lupin smiled and shook Severus’s hand. ‘So, you’re the one responsible for my son’s improved Potions results?’

Severus looked surprised that Remus had mentioned him to his father and seemed at first speechless. ‘I . . . I suppose so,’ he said after a short while.

‘Oi! It’s Snivellus!’ came Sirius’s voice.

Severus blinked, as though he had momentarily forgotten where he was. Then he gave a polite bow to Remus’s father. ‘It was nice to meet you, Mr. Lupin.’ He turned to Remus. ‘I should probably get on board. I daresay we’ll see each other at school.’ Then he disappeared into the crowd.

‘Peculiar fellow,’ said Mr. Lupin, as Sirius and James, this time accompanied by Peter, once again made their way over to where Remus was standing.

‘Come on,’ said James. ‘We should get on the train.’

‘Right.’ Remus turned to his father. ‘Goodbye, then, dad.’

‘Goodbye, son,’ said his father and squeezed his shoulder. ‘Behave yourself at school, and remember to write home to your mother.’

The Marauders all grabbed hold of their trunks and pulled them onboard the Hogwarts Express.

‘I suppose we’ll have to go to the Prefects’ compartments or something?’ said James uncertainly to Remus.

‘Yes, we should,’ Remus replied. ‘We’ll see you guys a little later,’ he told Sirius and Peter. Then they split up, and Remus and James went off to find the other Prefects.

‘Remus!’ said a voice when they entered the next carriage and Lily Evans came running up to them. ‘Look at this, I’m Head Girl!’ She pointed at her badge excitedly. ‘Can you believe it? I couldn’t. I wonder who’s Head Boy?’ James cleared his throat very loudly and Lily noticed him for the first time. ‘Wait… What’s _he_ doing here?’

‘ _I’m_ the new Head Boy,’ said James, not a little cockily.

‘ _You_ are?’ Lily stared at him, openmouthed and wide-eyed. Then her gaze moved to the badge on his chest and her eyes grew wider still. ‘You must be joking . . . He’s not serious is he?’ She turned to Remus, her eyes pleading with him to say that it wasn’t so.

‘I think he is,’ said Remus, somewhat reluctantly. He was still rather shocked himself.

‘But—but he’s a complete idiot!’

‘Oi! I’m right here, you know!’ James said indignantly.

Lily turned to him. ‘And you’re a complete idiot!’ She frowned. ‘Sorry. But you’re always pulling pranks, you never take anything seriously . . . How could you become Head Boy? You’re not even a Prefect! It’s unheard of!’

‘Well, whatever you may think of my capabilities, Evans, we’re just going to have to try to get along, aren’t we?’ James replied heatedly.

The rest of the train ride was uneventful. After a rather long briefing in the seventh year Prefects’ compartment, Remus and James patrolled the train together for a while, before finding the compartment in which Sirius and Peter were sitting.

They arrived at Hogwarts, sat down for the feast and went to bed immediately afterwards.

That night, Remus woke up to find Sirius in his bed. Too tired to make any protests, he let the other do what he liked and tried to enjoy it, but in the darkness Sirius couldn’t see his tears, and if it had felt empty before, that night it felt desolate.

* * *

During a free lesson on the first day back, Remus went to his familiar desk in the Hogwarts Library, where he found Severus, not at all to his surprise, bent over his Potions book again.

He approached the other boy carefully. ‘Hi.’

Severus looked up at him. He inclined his head slightly, but made no greeting.

Remus asked, ‘Can I sit down?’

‘If you must,’ Severus replied.

Remus sat. For several long moments, he just stared down at the table. Severus scribbled something onto a roll of parchment.

‘So . . . Are we all right now?’ Remus asked finally, raising his gaze to Severus’s face.

Severus looked up again. ‘That depends.’ He paused, his expression unreadable as ever. ‘Something like this . . . It won’t just go away, you know. I’m . . . It’s hard to . . .’ He fell silent, looking down at his parchment.

Remus took a deep breath. ‘Is it that I almost killed you or that I’m a—you know—that bothers you most?’ 

‘I don’t know.’

Remus knew that Severus was not the kind of person who would tell other people how he really felt—indeed, most of their conversations were generally one-sided, except for academic matters—but Remus was really the same. The things that mattered were always the hardest to say.

‘It’s not something I tell people. James, Peter and Sirius know, and all the teachers, for obvious reasons, but it’s not the sort of thing that one shares with everybody. Hiding it has become habit, I . . . I never did know how to . . . I’m sorry.’ He glanced at Severus, whose brow was furrowed. 

He never really knew what he had meant the apology to be for. It could have been for any one of his wrongdoings, or for all of them.

After a moment, Severus’s face relaxed visibly. He did not accept the apology, nor reject it, or even acknowledge it in any way at all, but some of the tension lifted, and Remus thought he had maybe understood. Something loosened a little bit in Remus as well, and he though that this time, maybe, they could be friends without the secrets.

* * *

After their talk in the Library on the first day, Remus and Severus went back to being study partners, much to Sirius’s completely indiscrete and obvious dislike. Remus ignored him for the most part, and with their teachers piling as much homework onto them as they possibly could, it became relatively easy to weasel out of any uncomfortable situation with a ‘I have to study’ or ‘need to stop by the Library before it closes, sorry’. With James preoccupied with his duties as both Head Boy and Gryffindor Quidditch Captain, Sirius began to spend most of his time with Peter.

Sirius and Remus’s relationship was now somewhat strained. Since their return to school, the friendly tone from the summer’s letters and their reunion at Platform Nine and Three-Quarters had dissipated again, leaving a curt sort of civility. Sirius had not returned to Remus’s bed since the first night.

In spite of all his complaints, Remus found that he missed the company of his lover at night. As much as Sirius’s emotional detachment had hurt him, he felt the absence of the physical affection he had grown accustomed to. And it was painful that his friend didn’t speak to him or treat him the way he normally did. But, Remus reasoned, it would be even more painful if he let himself be seduced again. Not only would it involve once again surrendering his heart to the careless hands of Sirius Black, but it would also mean letting go of his budding friendship with Severus Snape, and Severus had never asked him to choose.

Severus and he were very much the same. They were both intellectual and introverted. Yet, in spite of that, Remus still did not understand his new friend. Severus was locked more securely than a Gringott’s vault, and it would take a lot more than some studying in the Library to make him trust him, especially after the turmoil before the summer holidays.

The first full moon arrived as September came to a close. James and Peter came to keep Remus company, but Sirius had apparently refused. James told Remus afterwards how he had scolded his best friend.

‘And especially after everything he put you through last spring! I can’t believe he refused to come. He’s such a petty, childish twat sometimes! Just cause you’re friends with Snape . . .’

But two days later Sirius and James were thick as thieves again and Remus couldn’t help feeling desperately alone.

One of the first things Remus did when he got back was go find Severus in the Library. He was, predictably, seated at their usual table, today surrounded by Defence Against the Dark Arts notes, diligently working on an essay. He barely looked up as Remus plopped down in the other seat.

‘You’re back.’

‘Yes.’ Remus pulled a hand through his hair and yawned.

Without really looking up from his work, Severus reached into his pocket and pulled out a small vial, handing it to Remus. 

Remus smiled. ‘Thank you,’ he said, pulling to stopper and taking a huge swallow of the Invigoration Draught.

‘Thought you might need it, so I brewed a batch,’ muttered Severus, his quill continuing its swift movement across the parchment. ‘You’re not much use to me dead tired.’

‘I’m not much use to you anyway,’ Remus pointed out. ‘You’re mostly the one helping me.’

‘Not so. Much as I hate to admit it, you’re far better as Defence Against the Dark Arts than I am.’ He looked up. ‘You have a new scar.’

‘Yeah . . .’ Remus looked away. He had gotten a cut on his neck, just below his ear, while transformed. ‘Dunno how it happened. I rarely remember much.’

‘They heal quickly, don’t they?’

‘I suppose.’

Severus studied his face. It made Remus feel self-conscious. ‘You know, I don’t like it.’

‘I know.’

‘Still, you can’t really help it, I suppose.’

‘No, I can’t.’

Severus nodded slowly. Then he rifled through his notes until he found a particular piece of parchment. ‘Maybe you can explain it better than the incompetent fool they hired _this_ year . . . How exactly does one get rid of a Hydra?’

* * *

‘Oh, come off it! He’s my best friend!’

‘I don’t care! You should have deducted points anyway. He knew very well what he was doing!’

Remus looked up from his chair by the fire as James and Lily entered the Common Room. They were fighting again. This was nothing new, but Remus found himself thinking that they should really have learned to get along by now.

‘I gave him a fair warning. I said I’d take points next time! I’d be taking points from Gryffindor!’ James looked at her as though this was an entirely obvious reasoning.

‘Look, Potter, we’re both Gryffindors,’ said Lily. ‘We can’t be seen as giving our own house special treatment, that would be wrong. You have to be Head Boy first and Gryffindor second.’

‘Why can’t you call me James?’

Lily crossed he arms defiantly. ‘Because you haven’t earned it yet!’ She started off towards the stairs to the girls’ dormitories.

James broke into a trot to catch up with her before she reached them. ‘Lily, wait!’ She stopped, but did not turn around. ‘Let me take you out next Hogsmeade weekend. We can get to know each other better, and then you can decide whether or not you want to call me James.’

She turned to face him, arms still crossed. ‘I’ll think about it,’ she said. ‘But if I catch Black and Pettigrew up to that sort of thing again, I’ll make sure they both get detention!’

As it turned out, however, she didn’t have to. Three days later, Sirius and Peter were caught trying to sneak into the kitchens by Filch. The Marauder’s Map was confiscated and the two were subsequently given detention the following Saturday, the first Hogsmeade trip of the year.

What was more, after receiving this news Lily decided to accept James’s offer, and this left him entirely unable to feel any sympathy at all with his friends.

‘Rotten luck, mate, getting caught like that,’ he said, grinning from ear to ear as he buttoned his pyjamas. All four boys were in the dormitory. It was eleven o’clock on Tuesday evening.

‘It is so unfair,’ Sirius grumbled. ‘You get to go on a date with the girl you’ve been in love with since third year, and we have to stay behind and manually scrub the dungeons.’

‘Life is unfair,’ said James solemnly. Sirius threw a pillow at him and his mask broke into a laugh. ‘At least you two will be together. Lucky you were both caught!’ He tossed the pillow back to Sirius, who caught it, and turned to Remus. ‘What are you doing on Saturday, Moony?’

Remus shrugged. ‘Dunno. I might just stay behind and study.’

‘You won’t be hanging around with Snivellus, then?’ asked Sirius. His voice had adopted the usual chill it had whenever Severus was mentioned.

‘If he stays behind to study as well, I daresay I will,’ said Remus defiantly. ‘What’s it to you?’

‘Stop it, you two!’ James warned, and they both fell silent. Remus understood, at times like these, why James had been chosen as Head Boy. His voice possessed a degree of authority sometimes that was almost father-like in its prominence. James was a leader. He always had been.

‘It won’t be so bad cleaning out the dungeons if we’re together, though,’ said Peter brightly. ‘I mean, if I’m with _you_ , Padfoot, I’ll bet we’ll have lots of fun doing it!’

Sirius rolled his eyes. ‘There must be some reason you’re in Gryffindor, Wormtail. I just haven’t figured it out yet…’

* * *

Remus and Severus left Potions together the following day, having finished at the same time.

‘So, are you going to the village on Saturday?’ asked Remys.

‘I don’t think so,’ Severus replied. ‘I never really do. I have no real reason to. How about you?’

‘Well, James has a date and Sirius and Peter have detention, so I really haven’t got much reason to go either.’ Remus paused, glancing sideways at Severus, whose expression was blank as always. ‘Maybe we could go together?’ he ventured after a moment.

It took a little while for Severus to answer. He seemed to consider, then replied, ‘I have nothing better to do.’

‘All right, then!’ Remus felt relief wash over him. ‘We’ll have fun.’


End file.
